


(It's a departure) It's a new craze

by Hirikka



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jaskier | Dandelion is a Mess, M/M, MBMBaM references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28300599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hirikka/pseuds/Hirikka
Summary: "If you ever want to fake being in a relationship, having a caricature artist draw you with some made up person...There’s no reason anyone would do that if it wasn’t true. I think that would be very convincing."---Jaskier pretends to have a boyfriend to get his parents to leave him alone—but when he’s invited to a party where both of his exes are going to be present, he needs to find someone to play the part.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 10
Kudos: 194
Collections: The Witcher Secret Santa 2020





	(It's a departure) It's a new craze

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CousinCecily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CousinCecily/gifts).



> Written for goodheavensgwen for The Witcher Secret Santa!  
> I hope you enjoy the fic and that you are having a good holiday season!!

Jaskier collapses facedown on his bed, trying to will himself out of existence. He’d just gotten off the phone with his mother. It’s always a taxing experience, and the holidays just make it worse. For some reason, the idea that he’s perfectly happy being single is totally incomprehensible to her, so the normal “concerns” about how his career was doing (“I just want you to have a steady income; what will you do in the future?”) had been joined with worries about how he was going to end up alone forever.

It isn’t like he doesn’t _want_ to date; he just isn’t sure he’s ready to try again after the absolute disaster that was his relationship with Virginia.

He grabs his phone and turns on a podcast; he needs _something_ to distract him, get him out of his own head for a little while.

Then there’s an absolutely amazing suggestion. He scrubs back to listen again.

_TRAVIS: You know—hey—real quick—if you ever want to fake being in a relationship, having a caricature artist draw you with some made up person..._

_GRIFFIN: Yeah_

_TRAVIS: There’s no reason anyone would do that if it wasn’t true. I think that would be very convincing._

Jaskier pauses the podcast and pulls himself up so he’s sitting cross-legged. It _could_ work. If he posted the picture on facebook or something… said the person he was dating didn’t have an account... It would actually be less suspicious than if he just lied and said he was dating—his parents wouldn’t buy that—but a picture? Travis wasn’t wrong: No rational person would actually do that.

_TO: **Callonetta**_

> Hey can I ask for a favor

_FROM: **Callonetta**_

> Is it legal?

_TO: **Callonetta**_

> YES. Why would i ask you to do a crime over text??

_FROM: **Callonetta**_

> what do you want

_TO: **Callonetta**_

> Can you do a caricature of me and a random person? I wanna pretend im dating someone to get my parents to leave me alone.

_INCOMING CALL FROM **Callonetta**_

Jaskier huffs but answers the phone.

“Okay, explain,” Priscilla says.

“My mom’s being awful again—”

“Duh.”

“Right, well—she’s always worse around the holidays, and she’s convinced I’m going to die alone.”

“Okay. How does this lead to _caricatures_?”

“Well if I just _told_ her I was dating someone, she wouldn’t believe me because, you know, I don’t tell her things. And she’d have all sorts of follow-up questions that I wouldn’t be able to answer because I _am_ single.” There’s a pause, so Jaskier continues, “So I heard this idea: to get a caricature art with an imaginary person, because nobody would do that if they weren’t actually dating!”

“Heard where?” Priscilla asks.

Jaskier considers lying, but whatever, he’s come this far. “My Brother, My Brother and Me.”

“‘Their advice should never be followed,’” Priscilla quotes.

“Okay, but it’s a good idea!”

Priscilla snorts. “Is it?”

“I mean, it’s the best idea I have,” Jaskier admits.

“You’re an idiot,” Priscilla says. “Bring me a bottle of wine—a good one—next time you come over. I’ll text the art.”

“You’re the best!” Jaskier chirps.

“And you’re the worst,” Priscilla teases. “I’ll talk to you later. Best wishes.”

“Warmest regards,” Jaskier says and then drops his phone to the bed as Priscilla hangs up. He picks it back up almost immediately.

_TO: **Callonetta**_

> Should I give you some kind of description to work with?

_FROM: **Callonetta**_

> No.

> Artistic freedom

> You’ll take the boyfriend I make up and like it.

Jaskier snorts and drops his phone again.

**

_FROM: **Priscilla**_

> MBMBAM episode 539 18:36

> Have I mentioned how dumb my best friend is recently???

> He wants me to draw him & some rando so he can pretend he’s dating someone

_TO: **Priscilla**_

> Impressive. No way that could go wrong. Although…

> What are the odds he’ll end up having to find someone who looks like the character to keep the charade going?

_FROM: **Priscilla**_

> Knowing Jask? Like 80-90%

_TO: **Priscilla**_

> Well. I know just the ‘imaginary’ person.

> And if he happens to need the real version we can make sure their paths cross.

_FROM: **Priscilla**_

> This is… very complicated. But no reason not to try lol

> Send a pic?

_TO: **Priscilla**_

> On its way <3

**

_FROM: **Callonetta**_

> [img attached]

Jaskier flings himself across the room as his phone vibrates. He opens the text from Priscilla and stares at the picture. One of the people is clearly him: big blue eyes, a flop of brown hair. The second person is what gives him pause: He has long white hair and yellow eyes.

_TO: **Callonetta**_

> The idea was to have it be generic!!

_FROM: **Callonetta**_

> Where’s the fun in that?

_TO: **Callonetta**_

> Nobody has yellow eyes!

_FROM: **Callonetta**_

> [shrugging emoji]

_TO: **Callonetta**_

> This is bullying

_FROM: **Callonetta**_

> Well you could always… not lie

_TO: **Callonetta**_

> noooo

_FROM: **Callonetta**_

> It’s not supposed to be realistic, that’s the whole point

_TO: **Callonetta**_

> Uhg fine.

_FROM: **Callonetta**_

> You’re welcome

_TO: **Callonetta**_

> ...

> Thanks

**

“So…” Priscilla takes a sip of her hot chocolate. “Did your plan work?”

“It did!” Jaskier says. “So there. My mom called and didn’t say a single thing about my dating life.”

“She didn’t ask about the guy?”

“No, she doesn’t actually want to know shit about me,” Jaskier says cheerfully.

“Well perfect,” Priscilla says. “But if the plan worked, why did you say it was an emergency?”

Jaskier grimaces. “Essi’s party.”

“Oh, she wants you to bring a plus one?”

“Yeah, and I could say that he’s busy or something…”

“But?”

Jaskier sighs. “But Virginia is going to be there. With _Valdo_.”

“Oof.”

“Yeah.”

Priscilla slips her phone out of her bag and starts tapping out a message. “So, what are you going to do?”

“I mean, I could have tried to find someone to pretend to be dating me—”

“A completely rational thing that real people do,” Priscilla agrees.

“But _someone_ had an artistic vision that means I’m going to have a hard time.”

“Whoops,” Priscilla says, completely unapologetic.

“What do I _do_ , Pris?” Jaskier wails. “I can’t bear to see Valdo’s smug face if I show up alone, but I don’t want to bail on Essi.”

Priscilla’s phone buzzes, and she peers past him out the window of the cafe. “Oh! It’s Yen.”

Jaskier slumps in his seat. “Pris, don’t ignore me.”

“I don’t have a good answer for you, Jask.” She pauses, tilting her head. “Although... Yen’s friend seems like he might be _exactly_ what you need.”

Jaskier narrows his eyes suspiciously, turning to follow her gaze. He’s only met Yennefer once, briefly, but it doesn’t matter because he sees who Priscilla is talking about _immediately_. He’s tall and broad-shouldered, with long silver hair half pulled back. His profile is striking, and Jaskier thinks that he might be halfway in love already. The man turns slightly to say something to Yennefer as they wait in line at the counter, and Jaskier sees that his eyes are a warm amber color, and—

“Wait.” Jaskier reluctantly turns his attention away from the most beautiful man he’s ever seen and back to Priscilla, who is trying to hide a smug grin in her mug. “You did this on purpose!” He accuses. “Why?”

Priscilla gives him a wide-eyed look. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t be ridiculous; you didn’t just happen to draw him. What’s your plan?”

“Plan?” Priscilla says. “I don’t have a plan. Yen! Come sit with us.”

Jaskier growls at Priscilla but shifts so he’s sitting up straight as Yennefer and her friend walk over. Priscilla rises to give Yennefer a quick hug, and they both sit.

“Yen, you remember Jaskier?”

“Hm.” Yennefer gives him a little smirk that suggests she’s in on Priscilla’s plan. “This is Geralt. Geralt, Priscilla and Jaskier.”

“Hello,” Geralt says.

“Priscilla, will you back me up on this?” Yennefer asks. “Geralt refuses to listen to me, but I think it’s past time for him to start dating again.”

“Yennefer.” Geralt’s voice is a growl that probably shouldn’t seem as appealing as it does.

Priscilla smirks. “Well, I don’t know you, Geralt… but I’ve never known Yen to be wrong, so.”

“Very wise of you,” Yennefer says.

“Hm.” Geralt doesn’t look pleased to be the center of attention. Jaskier is just glad that nobody has asked _his_ opinion; he’s not sure that asking Geralt to date _him_ would help.

“Ah.” Yennefer looks at her phone. “I’ve got to take this. Geralt, wait here?”

“Fine,” Geralt agrees.

Yennefer sweeps out of the cafe, answering her phone as she steps outside. In what is truly the least subtle thing Jaskier’s ever seen, Priscilla stands abruptly. “Be right back.”

“Pris—” Jaskier protests.

She ignores him, wandering in the direction of the bathroom to make it seem like she’s actually doing something, rather than leaving him alone with the most gorgeous person he’s ever seen for _no reason_.

“So,” Jaskier says, because he has no self-control, “why is Yennefer so concerned with your dating life?”

Geralt sighs heavily. “She’s my ex, and she’s convinced that since she’s dating someone now, I should be as well.”

“Ah, do you still have…?” he trails off.

“No.” Geralt shakes his head. “No. Our relationship was… destructive. I just haven’t felt like dating. I’m not… good with first impressions. Or people.” He makes a face like he’s not sure why he just admitted that.

“Well, if it makes you feel better, you’re doing quite well right now.”

“This isn’t a date,” Geralt points out. “Not as much… pressure.”

Jaskier does not feel disappointed about the reminder. Not at all. “That’s fair. And I know how you feel about the dating thing.” Geralt raises an eyebrow, so Jaskier continues, “I got so sick of my family asking about my dating life, I made up a boyfriend. Well, I had Priscilla do a caricature of me and a guy to _imply_ I was dating someone.”

“That’s… something.”

Jaskier snickers. “You can say it’s dumb; I know it is. It was just supposed to get my family off my back, but now I’m supposed to go to a party with my boyfriend, so it backfired pretty badly.”

“Your words,” Geralt says. “If you’ve already committed, why not find someone to pose as your boyfriend for the party?”

“Well, for one: I have no idea how to ask someone to pretend to date me. And for another, well—” he hesitates for a moment, not sure if he wants to admit that _Geralt_ looks perfect for the part “—Priscilla decided to make the person kind of distinctive looking.”

“Distinctive?”

Jaskier bites his lip. “Okay, I swear she did this without any input on my part. At all. I cannot stress how much I didn’t know what she was doing.” He takes a moment to brace himself before pulling up the picture on his phone and passing it to Geralt.

“That’s...” Geralt frowns at the picture. “Is that me?”

“I don’t know what she was thinking,” Jaskier says.

Geralt is still staring at the picture, and Jaskier regrets showing him, regrets telling him any of this; just the idea makes him sound crazy, and with the picture, he must seem like a stalker as well.

“What if,” Geralt hesitates. “What if we pretend to date?”

“What?”

Geralt shrugs, passing Jaskier his phone back. “It’ll sell the art as something real. And it’ll get Yen to leave me alone.”

“You’re serious?”

“You’re the one who made up a boyfriend,” Geralt says, looking a little defensive.

“No, no—I’m not judging you. It could actually work. It’s just, you don’t strike me as the type to want to do a scheme like this.”

“You just met me.”

“Point.” Jaskier finishes off his coffee. “Okay, so how do we do this?”

“We say we hit it off here,” Geralt says. “When’s your party?”

“Next weekend.”

“Alright, we’ll go to that. Stay together for a few more weeks, at least until the holidays are over. Then we break up. Hopefully that’ll get Yen off my back for a while.”

“Okay.” Jaskier looks around; there’s still no sign of Yen or Priscilla, but he doesn’t want to chance them hearing about the plan. “Here, give me your number. We can meet up sometime this week to go over the details.”

Geralt types his number into Jaskier’s phone, and they lapse into a slightly awkward silence until Priscilla returns. A few minutes later, Yennefer comes back as well. They chat idly for a little longer before heading their separate ways. Jaskier makes a quick getaway to avoid any of Priscilla’s questions and heads home, trying to convince himself that this is a good idea.

“Alright, so we shouldn’t come up with a fake story for how we met; that always seems to be a spot that messes people up.”

“Always?”

Jaskier grins, bright and unrepentant. “I may have watched a _few_ movies with fake dating to get some ideas.”

“Oh god,” Geralt groans. “Why did I agree to this?”

“You suggested it!” Jaskier protests.

Geralt snorts and leans back further into the couch. “What about the timing?”

“Hm?”

“Well, you posted the picture before Yen and Priscilla introduced us.”

“Oh, true.” Jaskier pauses to consider this. “We’ll stick with the same story—they introduced us—and just say that it happened earlier if anyone else asks. I don’t think people are going to press us on, like, exact dates. We can tell Yen and Pris that we started dating when they set us up, and they can be all smug that their plan worked.”

“Alright. So how long should we say we’ve been dating?”

“Maybe, like, a month or two?” Jaskier suggests. “Long enough that it makes sense for us to go to events together, but not so long that we need to know everything about each other.”

“Two months,” Geralt decides. “What else?”

Jaskier looks down at his list. He’d done research for this. Sure the research was mostly watching romcoms and trying to ignore the way they all ended because he didn’t want to get his hopes up, but it was still research. “PDA.”

“What.” Geralt’s tone is so flat it’s barely a question.

“We need to decide how much PDA we’re comfortable with,” Jaskier explains. “Like, holding hands? Kissing?”

Geralt sighs. “Holding hands is fine. Kissing... I’m not sure.”

“Okay—you seem like a private person. Kissing only if necessary.”

“Why would it be _necessary?_ ”

“Mistletoe?” Jaskier suggests.

“Hm.”

“Is there anything you think we need to do? To convince your friends?” Jaskier asks. “We’re going to the party at Essi’s to deal with my shit.”

Geralt considers this for a long moment. “Honestly? I don’t know. Yen might be suspicious that her scheme to set me up actually worked, but if we go to that party and can be convincingly _together_ , that’ll probably do it.”

“Okay!” Jaskier says. “This went well. There’s like, more rules we could put in place, but since we’re only doing this for a few weeks, it’s probably not a big deal.”

“Hm. You said your plan with the… art ‘backfired’ when you got invited to the party?”

“Oh, yeah. I started this to get my parents to lay off. Which totally did work, by the way.”

“So why not tell your friends the truth?”

Jaskier sighs. “Yeah, I probably should warn you. I _would_ have, but my ex is going to the party. And she’s dating my _other_ ex, who she left me for. I just… couldn’t deal with the idea of showing up alone and watching them be all smug together.”

“Hm.” Geralt reaches out and takes his hand. “We’ll just have to be more smug, then.”

Jaskier grins. “Oh, Geralt. I like you a lot.”

Geralt snorts, but he doesn’t take his hand back. Jaskier’s heart flutters, and he curses himself; he _knew_ this was going to happen.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Jaskier suggests, desperate for a distraction.

“Hm.”

Jaskier takes his hand back as he reaches for the remote, turning the TV on and switching over to netflix. “Romcom?” Jaskier suggests.

Geralt glares at him and then mutters, “Fine.”

Jaskier scrolls until he lands on _To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before_ because it is the fake dating romcom that’s least similar to their situation—he wants to stick with the theme—and settles in to watch the movie.

If he ends up falling asleep with his head on Geralt’s shoulder, neither of them mention it.

**

_FROM: Geralt_

> Are you doing anything right now?

_TO: Geralt_

> no?

Jaskier puts his guitar and notebook aside to focus on his phone. It’s still a few days before the party, and he wasn’t really expecting to hear from Geralt before then.

_FROM: Geralt_

> Do you have plans tonight? Want to hang out?

Jaskier glares at the message. He _does_ want to hang out; he’d had fun when they’d hung out. Geralt has a surprisingly dry sense of humor that Jaskier is _very_ into. Unfortunately—

_TO: Geralt_

> I have a gig tonight. Sorry.

He briefly considers inviting Geralt to come, but Virginia had only been interested in his bigger shows—she’d said playing small venues like this was beneath him—so he can’t imagine his _fake_ boyfriend would want to.

_FROM: Geralt_

> Where?

_TO: Geralt_

> The Three Little Bells. Do you want to come? I can get you in for free if you do...

_FROM: Geralt_

> I’ll come.

_TO: Geralt_

> Show starts at 7, I’ll make sure you’re on the list.

> But don’t feel like you have to come, it’s totally fine if you don’t want to.

_FROM: Geralt_

> Do you not want me there?

_TO: Geralt_

> No! I just didn’t want you to feel obligated…

> I’ve got to get ready. Ttyl?

Jaskier puts his phone down before he sees whether Geralt responds. He really does need to get ready for the show; he wants to impress Geralt, as foolish as it might be. Their relationship might be fake, but Jaskier isn’t above hoping that it could become real.

Geralt has been to The Three Little Bells before, but he avoids going on days when they have live music; it always seems too loud and too crowded.

“So, you really like this guy, huh?” Eskel asks, after they’ve gotten beers and found seats with a good view of the stage.

“I told you it’s not real,” Geralt mutters. He’d considered lying to Eskel, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to do it. (He wasn’t even sure if he _could_ convincingly lie to Eskel about something like this.) It is easier to deal with the mild teasing now than pity when the whole thing is over, and this way, Eskel will be able to help sell it when Geralt and Jaskier “break up.”

“Right… Then explain why we’re here. At his show?”

“Hm.”

“That’s what I thought,” Eskel said smugly.

Geralt is saved from any further prying by Jaskier taking the stage. He immediately draws the attention of the entire room. He scans the audience as he introduces himself, and Geralt wonders if he is looking for him. If he is hoping that Geralt has come.

Then, Jaskier starts to sing, and Geralt stops thinking, stops worrying, and just listens.

Geralt can feel the weight of Eskel’s gaze, but he can’t look away from the stage. He’s never really cared about music; he liked it as background noise sometimes, but his sensitive hearing made him picky when it came to singers. He feels like he could listen to Jaskier forever and never tire of his voice.

The show ends all too soon, and Jaskier ducks off the stage and into the backroom. Geralt slumps in his chair, feeling bereft.

“Geralt.” He looks up to meet his brother’s gaze. “I was teasing earlier, but I really do think you need to ask him out for real.”

“Geralt!” Jaskier’s voice saves him once again. The singer had managed to sneak past the crowd of fans around the stage and is beaming at him. “You made it!”

“I said I would.” Geralt tries to keep his voice steady, but he’s not sure how well it works. Jaskier’s smile doesn’t dim, and he moves closer as if he is going to wrap an arm around Geralt’s waist. Then he hesitates, gaze flicking to Eskel.

“This is my brother, Eskel. Eskel, this is Jaskier,” Geralt says. Jaskier looks almost relieved, and Geralt tries not to read too much into that. He considers telling Jaskier that Eskel knows the truth but decides it probably doesn’t matter.

“Lovely to meet you!” Jaskier offers his hand to Eskel. “Thanks for coming out tonight.”

Eskel shakes his hand with a smile. “You were really good.”

“Thank you!” Jaskier turns his attention to Geralt, and now he does move closer, leaning into Geralt’s side. “So? You must have a review for me? Three words or less.”

Geralt considers for a moment—torn between saying something teasing to avoid accidentally revealing too much and honestly. Seeing the bright hopeful look in Jaskier’s eyes, he can’t quite manage teasing. “You were amazing.”

Jaskier’s eyes widen, and then he’s beaming, his smile so wide and bright that Geralt feels a little like he is staring into the sun.

“I—uh.” Geralt needs to leave now, no matter how reluctant he is, or he’s going to be in too deep to pull himself out. “I have to go. I’m sorry, but I have an early day tomorrow.”

“Ah, alright.” Jaskier looks disappointed for a moment, but then he seems to compose himself. “I’ll text you.” He turns his attention to Eskel. “Thank you again for coming. Have a good night, both of you.” He steps away, and Geralt tries not to mourn the loss of his warmth as he goes.

Eskel follows him as they leave the bar, waits until they have stepped out into the cold night before he speaks: “He likes you.”

Geralt gives him a skeptical look.

“If you don’t ask him out for real, you are even stupider than you look,” Eskel says. He grins when Geralt just growls in response.

**

It snows the day of Essi’s party. A light dusting that makes everything sparkle and gleam when the sun comes out. Jaskier tries not to spend the entire day fretting about the party, about seeing Geralt again. He busies himself with baking a frankly ridiculous number of cookies and singing along to a playlist of holiday songs.

He hears a knock on the door, and he takes a deep breath. “Remember. This is not real,” he tells himself as he goes to open the door.

Geralt is wearing a black peacoat that emphasizes the width of his shoulders, and Jaskier’s mouth goes dry.

“Hey!” His voice is embarrassingly pitchy. “Let me just grab the cookies, and then we can go!”

Geralt hums an agreement, and Jaskier darts into the kitchen to grab the tins. Geralt takes them as Jaskier shrugs on his coat.

“All set?” Geralt asks.

“Yeah. Thanks again for agreeing to come to this,” Jaskier says. Geralt gives him a little smile and then leads the way out to his car. The ride over to Essi’s house is mostly quiet, Jaskier caught up in a loop of all the things that could go wrong tonight. Luckily, the drive isn’t long enough for him to work himself into a full panic. Jaskier takes Geralt’s hand, leading him inside and up the stairs to Essi’s studio apartment.

“Ready?” He asks when they are outside her door. “Last chance to bail.”

Geralt snorts. “Let’s go in.”

“Alright, brace yourself.” Jaskier pushes the door open. The apartment smells like peppermint, fairy lights are strung up along the ceilings, and there’s instrumental holiday music playing.

“Julek!” Essi cheers as she spots him, rushing over to pull him into a one-armed hug before taking the containers of cookies. “And guest?”

“This is Geralt,” Jaskier says. “Geralt, the lovely Essi.”

“I’m glad you could come! Drinks are in the kitchen; help yourselves.” Essi grins and then heads into the kitchen herself to put the cookies down.

“Come on,” Jaskier says. He takes Geralt’s coat and his own and dumps them in Essi’s room before taking Geralt’s hand again and leading him into the kitchen. He tries not to think about how well their hands fit together.

“So, where’s your ex?” Geralt asks. Jaskier passes him a glass of wine and scans the guests. There are quite a few people from Essi’s theater group that Jaskier doesn’t know well, but it doesn’t take him long to spot Virginia. She’s as lovely as ever, chatting with a couple Jaskier doesn’t recognize. Valdo is at her side, an arm wrapped possessively around her waist.

“Over there,” Jaskier points them out. “Maybe we’ll be lucky, and they’ll leave us alone.”

“Hm.”

They spot Yennefer and Priscilla by a table laden with snacks and head over there, happy for the familiar faces.

For about half an hour everything is going perfectly: Geralt is a quiet but steady presence at his side, and Jaskier relaxes into the cheerful atmosphere. Then, when Geralt’s steps away for a moment, Virginia manages to corner Jaskier.

“Oh Julian, I’m so happy to see you. I wasn’t sure if you would come.”

“Hey, Virginia,” Jaskier says.

“So, I saw you came with someone?”

Jaskier blinks at her, trying to figure out what she’s trying to do. It feels a little early to be chatting about new relationships. “I did, yeah. Geralt.”

“Are you trying to make me jealous?” Virginia’s tone is light, but the hand she puts on Jaskier’s arm is anything but.

“No?” Jaskier frowns, wishing there was an easy out of this conversation. Sure, she was the one who had broken up with him _and_ she was here with her new boyfriend, but he really wasn’t trying to make her jealous.

Virginia leans in closer. “Come on, you can admit it.”

“I’d appreciate it if you took your hands off my boyfriend.” Geralt’s voice is steely as he moves to stand next to Jaskier.

“Cute,” Virginia says icily. “You’ve really got him playing the part.”

Geralt’s eyes narrow. “I’m not playing a part.” He wraps an arm around Jaskier’s shoulders, and Jaskier leans into his side. “I’d suggest you leave him alone.”

“Are you serious?” Virginia hisses, but she drops her hand, taking a step back. “Are you threatening me?”

“Just a friendly suggestion,” Geralt says. For a moment, it looks like Virginia might try something else, but she seems to think better of it, giving them both a scornful look and then moving back into the larger crowd.

“You alright?” Geralt asks.

“Yeah, thanks,” Jaskier says. “She’s a bit possessive. Probably for the best that she ended things, honestly.”

“Her loss,” Geralt murmurs, almost quiet enough that Jaskier can’t hear it. He meets Geralt’s golden eyes and smiles.

“Come on.” He feels bold as he leads Geralt towards a doorway he had noticed earlier, decorated with a sprig of mistletoe. He’s not sure if anyone is paying attention as he stops them under the doorway; he’s too focused on Geralt. “Mistletoe.”

Geralt glances up to the mistletoe and then looks back at Jaskier with an eyebrow raised.

Jaskier grins, unrepentant. “It’s tradition. Bad luck if we don’t.”

“Hm.” Geralt leans in, just the barest brush of his lips against Jaskier’s. “Well, we wouldn’t want bad luck.”

“Exactly,” Jaskier agrees. He presses closer, backing Geralt into the wall, and kisses him again. He pulls back after a moment but doesn’t go far: Geralt’s arms are around his waist, and he doesn’t seem to be planning to let go.

“So,” Jaskier starts and then pauses.

“So.” Geralt looks so fond that Jaskier isn’t quite sure what to do with himself.

“Wanna scrap the whole ‘fake’ thing?” Jaskier asks.

“I think that could be arranged,” Geralt says.

“God, Yen and Priscilla are going to be _so_ smug.”

Geralt tips his head forward so that their foreheads touch. “Worth it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fic title is from (It's A) Departure by The Long Winters!
> 
> Thanks to Acornsofthemind for beta-ing this!!


End file.
